LIFE

I found this picture and love it so much because of the smiles on their faces!

I have realized a lot of things over the past couple of weeks, maybe it was great Relief Society lessons (which I have been in Primary for almost a year so I have missed that!) or great conversations with a beautiful niece, inspiration from a good friend through her own blog, or a wonderful Ensign article that reminded me that we make time for things that are important to us in life; so if I'm not reading my scriptures or whatever, it's because I am focusing too much of my time somewhere else. I don't know, I have just been reflecting on things lately and how I want to be a better person. I have also realized that there is one major thing that keeps me from moving forward in life and that is worrying WAY to much about what other people think of me. I can only do my best and I can honestly say that all my life I have tried to be a kind person and love other people, sure life throws crap our way that may cause us to act out of character from time to time, but I spend so much time worrying, "did I offend, did I upset, are they mad?" when none of those things are ever intentional and it is exhausting!!!! I HAVE to let go of my obsession with other people! ALL my life I have had an overwhelming desire for people to like me, if I think someone is upset with me or doesn't like me it literally keeps me awake at night! So I made a decision this week.............NO MORE! I have 8 sweet little ones that deserve my time and if I cut out the time I spend worrying about what other people think I would have more time for them! So I realized all I can do is be the best person I can be, be as kind as I can be and that's all I have control over. I can't control when other people take offense when none is intended, I can't control if others are hateful, I can't control if apologies are made and others choose to not forgive; those are things I do not have any control over. What I do have control over is me; my thoughts, my actions, my kindness towards others and my desire to be a good person. So that is where I am going to focus my energy, I can't spend the rest of my life hoping that other people like me, or if they treat me the same way they treat another family member or friend, but I have a beautiful family and husband who loves me despite my faults and they love me unconditionally. It makes me sad that I can't MAKE people like me or MAKE people forgive, but I just have to get over it. I'm SO grateful for the gospel in my life because I don't know how I could get through this life without that peace and strength it brings to me!