How did we get here??

I will try to make this as short as possible, but lets face it, you know I'm long winded! So last night I am sitting in class and Devin calls 3 times in a row, so I text him to see whats up. His response was 911. So I book it into the hall with my phone and dial his number only to hear him completely distraught on the other end. "Kristina, I choked and I'm coughing up blood, I called an ambulance" So of course I run in to let my professor know that I gotta go (hope I can retake the quiz we had) and I race home. I get there just as the paramedics are going into the house and I find Devin hunched over spitting blood into a bowl. He tells all of us that he was eating rice, choked, tried to clear it with water and it felt like something exploded and he started coughing up blood. Now let me back up a min, Devin has had problems with his esophagus for over 10 years. He has been treated off and on over the past 10 years, going in for several procedures where they actually stretch it open; lasts about a year and then they stretch it again. When it starts getting bad, choking on food, we go back to the Dr and he has it done again. I have been telling him for MONTHS to go to the Dr.....why couldn't he just listen? So that brings us back to last night. We get to the ER and they don't really pay much attention to him, they just put him in a room and give him a bag to puke the blood into. The pain continues to get worse and worse despite their efforts to control it. Since the pain is getting completely out of control he is becoming more and more out of control and not being able to keep calm. They do a chest x-ray, and it's clear. And they still leave him to sit in horrible pain. Finally at midnight they take us to endoscopy to stick a camera down his throat to take a look. After about 10 min the Dr comes back and lets me know that before he got very far he ran into a lot of blood and clots and didn't feel good about continuing the procedure. The decision was made to send Devin to the ICU and put him on a ventilator and sedate him. It was for the best; he could barely take a breath and was in tremendous pain, and being in that condition was not going to allow the Dr's to run tests to find out what they need to. At 1:00 he was peaceful, finally, a little too peaceful if you ask me! This is probably one of the most horrible visuals I will have with me the rest of my life.....seeing my husband completely passed out hooked up to a ventilator. I am used to being able to give him a kiss on his forehead while he is sleeping and have him respond in some way, whether it be a smile or a touch, but always a response. It is awful to touch and kiss him with not even a twitch. I hope things go by fast!